Questions
I haven't been sure of many things lately so I haven't written here. However since that doesn't seem to be changing I decided to begin to post my questions, maybe someone has a question to add or an idea to add to a question here.
Compassion without Forgiveness
An author on NPR was being asked about compassion and forgiveness in context of a man who had assaulted her. She said she had compassion for him but without forgiveness. I wonder what that means? Does that mean then that there is forgiveness without compassion? Where's the bright line between these? I wonder if she's equating forgiveness with exoneration? The thesaurus lists them as synonym, I'm not sure they fit together like that for me. Can such important definitions be left to individual interpretation without making their use difficult or meaningless?
I am not sure how your comment feature works - "profile"? I'll go with Anonymous, since I think that is the only one that works for me.....For your questions - I think these are three separate things. If you stole some food from the grocer because you were starving, and were caught, the grocer might feel compassion for you - pity, shared suffering - without either forgiving or exonerating you. Forgiving is putting away anger and any claim of punishment, even if it is deserved. Exoneration is being declared innocent. In the case you cite, it would seem that the author feels pity, but she has not let go of her anger or the justice of punishment for the crime. There can be no exoneration in this case since the crime was committed. I think it is possible to have forgiveness without compassion, but it is very difficult. The Lord requires us to be forgiving - this is for our own good, since anger festers - but it is hard to let go of justified anger and hurt. It is much easier to do this if there is some understanding of why the person hurt us, which provokes compassion. However, some evils are beyond our compassion and understanding. It is much more difficult to forgive someone for whom we have no compassion, and who has not asked to be forgiven. God can do this, fortunately. We can but pray for Him to help us do likewise. - Susan Ashton
ReplyDeleteWhat a eloquent and succinct response Ms. Ashton.
ReplyDeleteYes, I too believe there can be forgiveness without compassion, for precisely the clarifying reasons Ms. Ashton points out.
There have been several times when acts of malice have been committed against me or one of my family and I have spent much time reflecting on how to forgive the person or persons. Ultimately, I found I could forgive the commission and even the person(s), without believing that they would behave differently in the future. Not empowering them to harm me again is completely separate from forgiving them. Does that make sense? Roberta